Thoughts on Teaching in the Church and Relational Christianity

Bill at Thin Edge of the Wedge has expressed views about what ‘church’ really is that have touched my heart as my family heads back to our rather large, sorta seeker friendly SBC in Oklahoma. Read his post: Teaching in the ekklesia .  The initial impetus for this blog started with Internet Monk’s piece called, On Going Back to an SBC Church.

I’ve had very mixed emotions about going back to our old SBC on OKC. My newly Reformed faith is screaming that I should seek a church with solid teaching, but my heart misses my church family. What to do? (Author note: When I say I, I am speaking the sentiments of my husband as well.)

In our current Reformed church the Word is taught expositorily as we take our time, a long time, getting through the Bible. I love this style of teaching because scripture comments on scripture. It edifies me, clarifies my misconceptions, leaves me troubled at times, and challenges me. There have been numerous occasions when we in our church have been left a little numb and quiet after the sermon. “This is a hard teaching. Who can understand?” rings silently as we file out. And I know for me and several of my brethren, this leads to deeper study at home, prayer, and discussion. Iron sharpens iron. To me, this is teaching God’s word the right way. It has made me a Berean.

This is not the case in my SBC back home. The sermons were topical. You never knew what you’d be getting when you walked in the door. (I should note here, to be fair, this church has gotten a new pastor so I don’t know how he will be teaching.) Typically the sermons were geared toward those lost people who come in the door (which doesn’t happen often enough to justify the “ear tickling”) and not the body of Christ. The message is kept nice, simple, and about 40 minutes long (with three bullet points for the outline). I’m not saying there have never been any good messages, there have. But for the most part it is forgotten by the time I have given the waitress my drink order. Maybe that’s my fault. But this, coupled with the “everyone gets a vote” form of government and youth ministries that look more clubbing, have made me a little more than concerned, especially in light of the church we currently attend.

So why don’t we just find a different church when we get back? It’s crossed our minds…it keeps crossing our mind. We are friends with several families who have left for more Reformed pastures. (Now please know, I am not in any way, shape, or form maligning Reformed churches. If I had my druthers, all churches would be reformed to some extent.) Aside from driving nearly 40 miles every Sunday, they say they are thrilled with the teaching. However, here’s the kicker: They still fellowship with all of us heathens who still attend our old church. (I say that tongue in cheek because that’s what they laughingly call us.) Camping trips, BBQs, Thanksgiving and Christmas evening football games, any gathering they can attend, they attend. Yes, we are all part of one big body of believers so there aren’t (shouldn’t be) any lines of demarcation when it comes to fellowship. But I have found it interesting that these people aren’t fellowshipping with their new church body. I’ve inquired about it and what I’ve heard is: “We just miss you guys.” and “Our church doesn’t do these types of activities. But we have solid teaching and our new church is run more biblically.” So, in between quarters, while wiping watermelon from their mouths, we get discourses on all that is wrong with our SBC church and why we should bail. Something doesn’t seem right.

I don’t want this for my family. There is an arrogance and, if I may be so bold, a hypocrisy, that I don’t want to be a part of. And the discussions on Bill’s site have made me sit up and rethink what ‘church’ really should be.

Bill uses the term “relational Christianity” on the title of his blog. Maybe this is what he’s talking about: Among the brethren of my SBC there are strong men and women of God who diligently study the Word and who have ministered to me, challenged me, and loved me. When my husband was deployed for six months several men from the church made sure things around my house were in working order. A man who owns a garage kept my cars running. They rallied around me and my children by providing us a temporary home for a month when we moved from OK to WA. Women from the church called me and talked me through my homesickness and tears. When my husband and boys went home and visited in March they were warmly embraced, housed, and well fed. My husband and several men from our church have had an email Bible study for the last year. These men have prayed for my husband, encouraged him, and kept in touch with him during his deployments. Their arms, the arms of Christ, have reached out across the miles and ministered to my family with a faithfulness fueled only by God’s grace.

In addition to all of that, there is a woman in our church who lost her husband to cancer nine years ago. This woman, who has two sons and a daughter (ages 16, 15, 14), has become my closest friend. Their family has become an extension of our family. We celebrate holidays together, we road trip together, we slump in front of the TV watching baseball games together. When I road trip to Colorado to see my mom, her kids pile in the car with me. They call my mom Granny. Nothing too special about that, right? Families do those type of things all the time. But there is more.

God has brought the relationship between our two families to a much deeper level. Their second son, my son’s best friend, has started calling my husband, Dad. He signs his letters, “Your son”. This humbles my husband. I’ve watched the tears fill his eyes when this young man hugs him and says, “I love you”. You see, when my husband was ten his own father died of cancer, and there was a man in his church who stepped in and became, “Pops”. To this day that man is still Pops. How, in good conscience, do you walk away from that?

We are still struggling with what to do when we get back. We fear complacency in our study of the Word if we aren’t challenged by the teaching. But which is more dangerous, complacency in study or complacency in our relationships as ministers of Christ? Must we sacrifice one to get the other?

~ by biblicalchristian on May 18, 2007.